Win or lose, take them out for ice cream.

After a big game it’s not unusual for the coach to say, “Let’s go celebrate and get ice cream!” But have you ever celebrated after a big loss?  After the game where you felt like it was a scene from the bad news bears? One error led to another,which led to another and it felt like eternity to get that third out? That game where just a few kids hit the ball and the rest struck out. This is when you need to step back and find the positives in that game. Look at the athletes and see how they handled the loss, are they discouraged because they had a bad game? Or can they say that they tried their best, and there’s always next time. 

This is a huge challenge for coaches. Trying to focus on the positive instead of the negative. Reminding the kids that if they gave it their all, and didn’t give up, then it was a well played game.

Too many kids get discouraged after making an error which, without the right support, leads to more errors. This is when I really need to encourage them, remind them that they can do it. “Shake it off, good try, get ready for the next play.” There will always be another play. There will always be another chance to hit. Their career isn’t ending after the game, that’s part of the joy, their sport career is just beginning. They already know there was a mistake, they need to know mistakes are part of the process.

We can all picture the scene, a child strikes out and it can be so disappointing, head hung low, kicking the dirt back to the dugout. You can see it coming, they want to throw their bat and helmet, so frustrated with the strikeout they feel the need to express their anger. This is where I step in try to put all that negativity away, remind them that they gave it a great effort. This time it didn’t work out, but they tried and gave it their all. And guess what, you will get another try at hitting the ball!  There will always be another chance at fielding that ground ball or catching that pop up. Sometimes the challenge is making them believe in themselves. Only then, can they truly turn failure into growth.

They need to be reminded, “this is a learning experience, if you make a mistake then what did you learn from it?” This is where we grow both as coaches and players. Winning is fun, I mean, who doesn’t want to win the game? But there is a lot to learn from losing a game, this is when coaches and players can (and should) grow. These are the time we realize what we need to work on as a team or individual player. It’s when we lose we strive to be a better player and work harder to get that win.

Winning is great and gives you a great reason to celebrate, however losing the game isn’t a reason to be sad. I will often tell my players, and I’m sure we’ve heard the cliche before, “it really doesn’t matter if we win or lose, it’s how we play the game”. Did we give it our all? Did we try and encourage our teammates?  If the answer is yes then it’s a win my book, if each player can honestly say they gave it their all and tried their hardest then that’s all that matters.

The pain of a loss should fuel coaches and players during practices. Games are important as a relative test, but there are very few individual games that will have a real and lasting impact on your life, win or lose. You will get another chance, there will be another game…win or lose though, you should always take them out for ice cream!