Michelle Rheaume

If I were to say I never complained about a coach then my nose would grow a few inches.  However, there are some coaches I would never say anything negative about. Those coaches really are out there for the good of the team and players. Then there are the ‘other’ coaches, the ones I dread coming face to face with for fear that I might say the wrong thing or blow up in their face.  I can come up with many reasons why I might get upset with a coach. I mean, really, why on earth did they call for that play? Why did they choose that kid? Why isn’t my kid playing? Why is he yelling at the officials again?

It really isn’t too difficult to disagree with coaches, especially if you don’t understand why they are making some decisions.  When an adult makes a decision you don’t agree with you assume they are wrong, that they clearly don’t know what they are doing. We all can admit that happens to us, and then realize what the coach was thinking but the players simply made an error. Sometime you see they were trying to accomplish a particular play and to my surprise it actually worked.

Running a team and being responsible for every play can be difficult, especially when you are incorporating 10-15 kids into the team and trying to make sure they all get to play. (This is speaking to the younger athletes, before high school.) These coaches put themselves out there and try to accomplish one thing, a winning season.  My philosophy is a little different, I prefer to develop a well rounded player first. The wins will come later in time.

I’m reminded of the youth sports reminders from your child which ends with:

No scholarships will be handed out today.

Coaching by definition is the person responsible for managing or training a person or team. (Not the parents.) It’s not easy. Period. Are there some people meant to do it? Absolutely. Are there some people not capable of coaching? Absolutely. Not every person is perfect, and they are going to make mistakes. After all, we are all humans. Our best learning comes from mistakes, only then we learn what doesn’t work and gradually become a more experienced person.

The next time you are getting upset with the coach during your child’s game, try to imagine yourself in their role. You might have all the answers in your head at that moment, in the bleachers, sipping your drink, but the coach, in the dugout with 12 others players, repeating the line up for the third time and hoping that the next child up to bat just doesn’t get hit with the ball at the plate this time. The coach isn’t thinking about what the parents are doing in the bleachers, or concerned that they will not approve of their choices, they are just trying to get through the game.  Their mission on game day is to get everyone a chance to bat, experience different positions and most importantly, have fun.  That is my definition of the coach I want for my kids. The coach who is out there for the good of the kids, not worried about winning every game. After all, isn’t this all for the kids?

This is probably something a lot of parents will ask themselves at least once in their child’s sports career. I can personally say it comes up every year in my mind. You go to fill out the forms for your child’s registration and there’s that one box at the bottom of the paper that’s says “check this box if you are interested in volunteering to coach.” Why do so many of us just ignore it? Surprisingly most of us will judge the coaches at some point during the season, and everything they are doing wrong. So why don’t we just take charge and do it our way, or the right way. 

Here are my top three reasons why parents don’t volunteer to coach….

1. They just don’t have the time. Being responsible for a team takes a lot of your “free time”. You are committed to the time frame of your season, you need to be there early when the athletes get dropped off and stay late when their ride to pick them up is running behind. It takes time to plan out a practice, reschedule a game, make sure you have enough kids to play and keep a large number of kids under watch. And yet, some parents will find the time, rearrange their work schedule and do whatever it takes to coach the team.

2. I don’t know much about that sport. This can be daunting to many parents, especially if they were never involved in sports as a child. There are so many online ideas/courses that can help anyone coach a team. The resources are out there, we just need to do our homework and search for them. It can be tough filling your ninety minute practice with enough drills or activities, but after the first couple of days it is much easier to figure out what the kids are capable of and what needs to be worked on. I’ll even admit that it took our first game to see where work was needed, so the next practice was spent in our weakness. It’s such a learning process for the athletes and the coach.

3. Why on earth would I put myself out there and have to deal with those parents? This is one of my biggest fears, dealing with that one parent. The one that approaches you and tells you all the things you did  wrong. That one parent that complains the whole game from the bleachers and yells it out for all to hear. The one who wants their kid to play a new position even though their child came late to the game and missed practice. It’s a shame that some adults can act in such a way that makes you question,  is it really worth it to be here and coach? Thankfully the positive parents outnumber the bad ones, and will even put them in their place from time to time. It’s good to know at the end of the day you have a great group of  supporters that will stand up for you. And at the end of the day you realize it really is worth it, because Susie came up to you after the game and said, “That game was a lot of fun!”